Photo cred: @jared_b

I remember Maggie when she wore pigtails and hoodies. She was adorable and so kind – not a mean bone in her body. Never a fan of school, but always willing to try.

I also remember when Maggie’s mom called me to work with Maggie, who was experiencing an intolerable amount of stress and anxiety, and opting for online learning. Now in high school and a full-fledged teenage, I wondered how she had lost her way.

When I sat down with Maggie this week – whose adorability has morphed into sophistication and stunning beauty – she told me the answer to how she lost her way was really a combination of factors.

“I was so focused on making sure everyone liked me all of the time, yet felt I wasn’t living in the real world – I was overly concerned about what others thought of me and in the process I forgot what I thought of me.” She told me it didn’t help that girls started to be mean to her and she really didn’t understand why. Also, she adds, “School was really hard and I’d feel self-conscious if I got called on by a teacher or had to give a presentation.”

Maggie chose to let go of the traditional notion of school to forge her own path – doing her coursework online. Maggie reflects, “I had a breaking point and snapped when I was being bullied and decided not to care so much. The moment I realized I’d be okay without friends I thought were my everything, I started to feel stronger.” Maggie asserts, “I’d rather no friends than bad friends – I will always be okay with being alone.”

I asked Maggie if she had any regrets from her teen years, “I started so confident and self-assured in grade 8 – I didn’t care what anyone thought about me. I wished I had kept that feeling and stayed a ‘floater’ – you know, being friends with many people instead of limiting myself to a few girls who acted like they owned me.”

Now that she’s 18 years old, and working in the real world, I was curious what Maggie would tell girls who are just beginning the teen years. Without hesitation she offered this: “Stay true to yourself and do not change for anyone. Stand up for yourself, speak your truth, and be confident in who you are – don’t rely on others for your identity.”

Compelling advice from someone who found her way!